Once, one woman who worked in a hospital for hopelessly sick, recorded the most frequent regrets of people that they voiced before death.
The most common regret was "I constantly tried to meet someone's expectations, and because of this I could not live the life that I would like to live."
You may even not read further. Let's just stop for a second and think about whether the feeling of dependence on someone else's opinion is worth regretting it on your deathbed? Definitely, it is not worth it.
However, it is quite possible to change the situation and get rid of “other people opinion addition”. This cannot be done at the click of a finger, it will take time and effort. We have prepared tips that will help absolutely everyone cope with this problem!
Paying Attention to Someone Else’s Opinion Is Natural
How to stop being sensitive to what others think of you? This is one of the most common questions. It is worth noting that being sensitive is good, as a person is a collective nature. People are constantly in a relationship and can neither live nor survive alone.
On the one hand, it is good if you are concerned about the opinions of others. This is a strong and healthy feeling for a person. The bottom line is what you will make of this power. For example, it can turn in a personal enemy and the pain of life, or you can use this power for your good.
Remind yourself more often that to face the fear of condemnation is normal for anyone, it happens to absolutely everyone. Thanks to this feeling, you have empathy, the ability to feel what others are feeling! Therefore, don’t strive to have a fear of judgment. Love this part of yourself that is so sensitive to others.
Any famous person or celebrity has this fear of condemnation. The champions, successful entrepreneurs, artists, writers feel this fear in one form or another. But they have the tools to transform it. Change your attitude to your fear and do not make the tragedy of your life from this!
Relax and Let Your Fear Go
The more you want to control the opinions of others, the more space it will occupy in your head and the less you will be yourself. On this basis, not only others will reject you, but you too.
And yes, the sad truth is that there are prejudices often driving these fears. However, it is quite possible to make yourself indifferent to the opinions of other people! Just relax and start with your body.
- Take a deep exhale and “drop” your hands down.
- Breathe desire to control out of yourself, release it.
- Instead of making a good impression, go back inside yourself, and be yourself.
Just stop impressing others but start expressing your personality. It does not matter what happens next because in any case, it will be good for you. Instead of trying to decide and control everything, just relax. Even if something seems bad to you, over time you will find that it was good, and right for you.
Do Not Forget About Personality
Think not about what others will say about you, but about who is around you. Only in this way will you attract the “right” people into your life. Remember that there is nothing worse than want to be like someone else. Once you want to be someone else, you are no longer yourself.
When you are authentic, you make yourself an invaluable gift. When you are authentic you are free. When you become yourself, you are vulnerable at the same time, but you have nothing more to lose.
As soon as you take a step towards vulnerability, when you acknowledge your imperfection, you immediately feel better. And the fear of condemnation disappears!
Be an Inspiration to Others and Not an Object of Judgment
An obsession with the opinions/impression develops selfishness. Instead of being selfish and thinking only about yourself, shift your focus to the opposite side. Think about ways you can inspire others.
Avoid pride and shame, do not become attached to positive feedback. If positive responses mean a lot to you, then all negative ones will inevitably hurt you. But no one considers positive reviews to be their problem, no one complains about them.
People that attached to a positive assessment, begin to especially value people who consider them extraordinary, beautiful and kind. If you want to get rid of the importance of human evaluation, then you have to recognize that everyone has the right to an opinion, and it does not have to praise you and only you. That is, it should no longer matter whether people love you or do not like you.
It happens that in private with yourself you begin to think and say to yourself how “you were smart”, how “everything you did was great”, slightly exaggerate your success in order to see yourself above others for at least a few seconds. Then life will immediately try to remind you with a light beautiful blow, where your place really is. Your place is to be at the level of the rest.
We are all the unity of these two opposites. Therefore, free yourself from shame and from a sense of self-worth in the sense of superiority over others. Depriving yourself of feelings of superiority over others, you get rid of the fear of making a mistake and criticism.
Focus on What Is Important
Is it really important for you to be loved by everyone at all costs? Start focusing on simple things that help you breathe freely. Focus on what really matters to you.
If you do something not in order to “have”, but in order to “become”, you see everything in a different light and become free. Because, even if you are criticized, it helps you grow, it teaches you to love yourself and correct mistakes.
If you shift your focus from short-term to long-term, then criticism is much more useful than praise. And this knowledge liberates!
Keep the Distance
Very often, we become dependent on the opinions of others only because these "others" are actually dear to us. We trust their advice and do not want to upset them with our behavior. Therefore, we do what we were advised to do, even if we do not really want it.
For example, this is a fairly common situation when parents choose a college for their child, not taking into account his or her wishes. And the child is forced to obey the willful decision of the parents.
And if in childhood we are really dependent on elders, then in adulthood we are free to keep our distance. Even in relation to the closest relatives if their influence becomes toxic.
Remember that you have only one life. Are you really going to let other people's thoughts make it less enjoyable? Start changing your life now! We hope that with these tips you can say goodbye to this phobia. Allow yourself to be completely free from others!
Donald Fomby is a writer and a translator at PickWriters so he has a master’s degree in Psychology but he has dedicated his career to marketing. His expertise in psychology enables his to provide valuable insights into the field of marketing. Donald consistently improves his marketing knowledge and keeps up with all the recent trends by attending conferences, educational workshops, and taking training courses.